I've decided that rather than write something new as I prepare to depart for South Africa, write papers, and read for class, re-connect with people in IND, etc, I'll let you peak into what God is continually teaching me by selecting, transcribing, and posting a few COMPLETELY RAW journal entries. It's been too long since I last blogged, so here's the first of the Journal Snippet Series. Remember, they will all be raw, undeveloped, and copied word for word from journaling sessions months ago. these aren't texts that have been meticulously crafted and mulled over, just scribbles from passing thoughts and reflections. so don't hate.
sidenote not pertaining to the post, but would like your thoughts:
The beauty of grace is that its not fair - Relient K lyric
Where did the concept of fairness originate, what is its definition, and is it an overarching Kingdom value? In today's culture and legislation is the concept of fairness linked to "deserving" and/or how humans "assign" value and worth?
I was kicking a few ideas around in March as I prepared to speak at our weekly athletes gathering @ Arizona State. My first thought was to speak on Identity because it's such a persistent theme in my life, one I've struggled with, one many elite athletes struggle with, and a realm I've seen God move mountains in my heart and mind, but after journaling about identity (what you're about to read), I decided to speak on Grace because our whole lives are a response to God's grace, therefore grace must come first. Here's a cluttered snippet of processing straight from my journal. Its basic and its about identity- I love it for that because these are things God is continually reminding me of and growing deeper in me. For the purpose of this post I've changed the pronouns to reflect a more conversational tone as if I were talking to you and removed example illustrations for the sake of length. It's all about the basics. Maybe one day I will post a few points from the grace talk that came as a result of these thoughts on identity?
I'm not going to set you up with an intro from this actual entry, so jump in mid-entry to an undeveloped mess!
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Your worth is NOT tied to anything you do or earn; rather, it was established by Jesus' work on the cross. Ha, let's go back to square one.
Fear births pride. Pride blocks humility. Humility allows grace. Grace gives identity (worth and purpose).
We fear failure, not being enough, accepted or worthy... so we strive, attempting to prove and vindicate our lives, then one we've "established" ourselves a bit of entitlement grows and pride latches on to guarantee what we've done is enough to overcome our fears and failures. Thus, pride blocks humility because it says we can do it on our own and that we deserve whatever we get because we earned it on our own. This inherently blocks humility because we can't admit we can't do it and humility is the door through which grace enters so we're blinded to grace because its is a gift we don't deserve and can't earn, yet we forfeit our opportunity to receive grace because aren't even humble enough to admit we need it by confronting our inabilities and inadequacies. This is probably because without grace we have no anchor or vision for who we are... we're left trying to prove ourselves through foolishness and folly, constantly repeating this cycle.
So fear keeps us from our identity and when we operate out of fear we also infringe on other's ability to access/walk-in their identity. Fear thrives on ignorance, distraction, and selfishness. When we don't know Jesus, God's infinite tenderness, patience, and love, we focus on ourselves and doing/being better. We think we must perform well, or out perform others, to be loved and accepted. We begin to focus on ourselves and work to be better (than those around us), constantly comparing to ensure we're making it. But if we knew Christ and what He accomplished on the cross and in the resurrection... the most unfathomable and magnificent act of love and grace ever performed... we could begin to step into our identity and realize we never have to earn acceptance, approval, or love ever again.
Its not about what you can do, its about what He's already done. Through the cross, the most profound demonstration of His longing to have a relationship with you, he has extended an offer to be His beloved child, giving you the identity of His beloved, if you're willing to accept His Son's work on the cross and take up His name. To no longer define yourself by what you do on your own, but rather to define yourself as a precious and loved child of the King because what Christ has already done.
Define yourself as one radically loved by God because the more you know God the less you have to prove.
... the entry continues but that's all for now.
remember,
"...Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Cor 3:17
