replace the dot with " ." to view the 7- 10 day updates from South Africa
replace the dot with " ." to view the 7- 10 day updates from South Africa
I've decided that rather than write something new as I prepare to depart for South Africa, write papers, and read for class, re-connect with people in IND, etc, I'll let you peak into what God is continually teaching me by selecting, transcribing, and posting a few COMPLETELY RAW journal entries. It's been too long since I last blogged, so here's the first of the Journal Snippet Series. Remember, they will all be raw, undeveloped, and copied word for word from journaling sessions months ago. these aren't texts that have been meticulously crafted and mulled over, just scribbles from passing thoughts and reflections. so don't hate.
sidenote not pertaining to the post, but would like your thoughts:
The beauty of grace is that its not fair - Relient K lyric
Where did the concept of fairness originate, what is its definition, and is it an overarching Kingdom value? In today's culture and legislation is the concept of fairness linked to "deserving" and/or how humans "assign" value and worth?
I was kicking a few ideas around in March as I prepared to speak at our weekly athletes gathering @ Arizona State. My first thought was to speak on Identity because it's such a persistent theme in my life, one I've struggled with, one many elite athletes struggle with, and a realm I've seen God move mountains in my heart and mind, but after journaling about identity (what you're about to read), I decided to speak on Grace because our whole lives are a response to God's grace, therefore grace must come first. Here's a cluttered snippet of processing straight from my journal. Its basic and its about identity- I love it for that because these are things God is continually reminding me of and growing deeper in me. For the purpose of this post I've changed the pronouns to reflect a more conversational tone as if I were talking to you and removed example illustrations for the sake of length. It's all about the basics. Maybe one day I will post a few points from the grace talk that came as a result of these thoughts on identity?
I'm not going to set you up with an intro from this actual entry, so jump in mid-entry to an undeveloped mess!
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Your worth is NOT tied to anything you do or earn; rather, it was established by Jesus' work on the cross. Ha, let's go back to square one.
Fear births pride. Pride blocks humility. Humility allows grace. Grace gives identity (worth and purpose).
We fear failure, not being enough, accepted or worthy... so we strive, attempting to prove and vindicate our lives, then one we've "established" ourselves a bit of entitlement grows and pride latches on to guarantee what we've done is enough to overcome our fears and failures. Thus, pride blocks humility because it says we can do it on our own and that we deserve whatever we get because we earned it on our own. This inherently blocks humility because we can't admit we can't do it and humility is the door through which grace enters so we're blinded to grace because its is a gift we don't deserve and can't earn, yet we forfeit our opportunity to receive grace because aren't even humble enough to admit we need it by confronting our inabilities and inadequacies. This is probably because without grace we have no anchor or vision for who we are... we're left trying to prove ourselves through foolishness and folly, constantly repeating this cycle.
So fear keeps us from our identity and when we operate out of fear we also infringe on other's ability to access/walk-in their identity. Fear thrives on ignorance, distraction, and selfishness. When we don't know Jesus, God's infinite tenderness, patience, and love, we focus on ourselves and doing/being better. We think we must perform well, or out perform others, to be loved and accepted. We begin to focus on ourselves and work to be better (than those around us), constantly comparing to ensure we're making it. But if we knew Christ and what He accomplished on the cross and in the resurrection... the most unfathomable and magnificent act of love and grace ever performed... we could begin to step into our identity and realize we never have to earn acceptance, approval, or love ever again.
Its not about what you can do, its about what He's already done. Through the cross, the most profound demonstration of His longing to have a relationship with you, he has extended an offer to be His beloved child, giving you the identity of His beloved, if you're willing to accept His Son's work on the cross and take up His name. To no longer define yourself by what you do on your own, but rather to define yourself as a precious and loved child of the King because what Christ has already done.
Define yourself as one radically loved by God because the more you know God the less you have to prove.
... the entry continues but that's all for now.
remember,
"...Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Cor 3:17
For those of you who have spent any time around me at all know that I am a writing utensil connoisseur. I can identify pens by their bodies, sounds, mark patterns, and so on... thus, I have a deep appreciation for fine pens. I am particular about the pens I purchase and even more protective of them once they've met my dear Moleskine. However, this Saturday I entered a new realm of dorkdom with the purchase of my first fountain pen.
Three months ago an astute scholar introduced me to the glory of fountain pens when she casually uncapped her own while studying at Barnes & Noble one day. Four of us had recently sat down and started to settle in when my eyes caught site of the magnificent tool she brought forth from her bookbag. I sat across the table completely captivated by the unknown object of affections.
Apparently, the intensity of my adoration and intrigue were written all over my face because one of the other girls called me on it. Which set in motion a transformative pen experience. The astute scholar noticed my illogical fascination, looked at her pen as if to say "What? This ol' thing?", and then performed one of the most fantastic acts of 2010... she extended her fine, german made, fountain pen across the table.
Now, if you know me, you can guess that my first response was to semi-deny my infatuation and eagerness to hold and sample the pen. After very little coaxing I gently cupped my hands around the pen and allowed it to makes its first few strokes in my journal. It was delightful and I was grinning like a idiot! It was so smooth and refined, yet curious and adventuresome. A trance descended on me and I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote, completely unaware of everything around me.
Pages upon pages later, I came out of it and humbly returned the precious tool to its gracious owner. Knowing only one thing- I had to get one.
Unable to find the same brand in the United States, I finally buckled and purchased a different brand. However, this darling came with a converter, 3 refills, and -best of all- a suede wrap for travel. I began writing with my new fountain pen on Saturday and have been unwilling to stop since! Its been nearly two years since ideas have flowed this freely and writing has come this easily, I attribute it to the breakthrough power of fountain pens ;]
Each time I go to write I reach down into my bag and grab ahold of what feels like a noble and powerful, yet untamed tool. I pull it up to my desk and carefully remove the suede wrap, gently unwinding the string, letting it come to life before me, for this is a weighty tool that has a personality all its own. It is a sword that must be wielded with respect and awe, yet also handled swiftly while chasing fresh, new ideas.
The addition of a fountain pen to my arsenal has exponentially increased my eagerness and willingness to write and experiment. Watch out, I'm already on my second refill!
jokes aside, I am very excited... fresh posts are in the making ;]
In response to my last post, I've privately received comments, critiques, and feedback, so I will be writing a follow up to clarify, give context, and address a few of the things a few of you mentioned. However, the purpose of this space is to invite communication, to openly and respectfully push back, to call into question, to engage one another's ideas, and to encourage; so, please respond directly in the blog comments section so we can all be involved in the conversation. (if you'd like more explanation, see my 1st ever post titled "beginnings")
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I am a tenderhearted idealist who is (academically & second-hand experientially) familiar with the psychological and developmental implications of what these children are experiencing, thus my heart is heavy and my brain running through scenario after scenario.
Tell us your reaction to this article and your thoughts regarding the issue.
- Better yet, what is the issue?
- Is "it" present in other places?
- What are the "roots"?
- How should they be addressed?
- Has/does "it" affect you?
- According to your worldview, do you have a responsibility or urge to respond in a certain way? <-- Do you + are you able to (explain)?
- Why do you hold these opinions?
etc, etc, etc. etc.
Word vomit, streams of consciousness, charged remarks, provoking replies, and mundane thoughts are all welcomed :]
Tear down the walls, "Jesus will not be indifferent to someone who needs love and to be valued".
Amidst the chaos, tension, and miscommunications of the holidays, I pause to share with you a simple lesson about love- one that I’m continually learning and constantly asking for the help in implementing.
You act and speak out of the overflow of your heart. Your heart produces action.
Think about this… how is that a person in your biological family or a person you’re in an intimate relationship with can be the hardest to extend grace to… to love the way Christ loved us? Why are expectations for family higher, thus disappointments are too? Mothers, brothers, etc are also a part of God’s creation, thus we (Christians) ought to treat them with the love of Christ in grace and truth. After all, they are our most sensitive audience. I say “ought to” because 1 John 3:16, in reference to our responsibilities as a Christian. We are responsible for loving from the overflow because we’ll never be able to try hard enough or be disciplined enough to love well when it comes from ourselves. Which is why it is essential that we love God 1st. So, as repeatedly noted throughout the entire Bible, our first responsibility is to love Christ because without that there is no overflow, and if there is no overflow, then God’s love isn’t living in us, and if that’s not present, then it’s not truly love. It’s veiled manipulation and addiction (that can only disappoint and destroy).
If our actions come from the overflow of our heart and our heart is to be constantly engaged in discovering and loving God, then its all about grace in truth because that is what God is all about. Practically speaking, this means I take this perspective: I am completely undeserved but, because of grace, I have been freely given everything I have and everything I am, so I can freely give … especially by LOVING WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS OR EXCEPTIONS. Now that’s freedom and that’s fun!!
Sometimes I like repeating things (like grace and it’s application) because they are very good. Plus, practically speaking (especially with the chaos and tense dynamics that often present themselves during the holidays), the capitalized and bolded statement is worth repeating and pursuing as the Spirit reveals. God first loved us, so we love Him first… then His love abundantly meets our needs and we are freed to love from the overflow of His love. This is why we love God first. He is the only One who can bear the weight of our hopes, expectations, dreams, and fears. Once we cast those onto Him and trust that He is good, faithful, and infinitiely more creative and intelligent than we are, we are freed to live a sacrificial life motivated by pure love. Then, with God’s love abounding in us and us abiding in Him, we will naturally extend grace because that is the heart of the Father.
It is God’s will for our life to love Him first, with everything always, then we will see that He is faithful to meet our needs, which is when we’ll be able to love others and ourselves without expectations and exceptions. But it must happen in this order, or else we’ll be tempted to withhold love and grace because they don’t deserve it and we feel justified in only giving to the amount that some one has earned… but thinking like that discards the fact that the Lord of the universe stepped down from constant adoration and praise to step into our lives and rescue us through an unparalleled and unfathomable act of grace as motivated by the pure love of the Father. So seeing it all began with grace, we can see that it all ends with grace.
You can’t truly love another or yourself unless Christ’s love abides in you. Christ’s love can’t abide in you unless you’ve accepted grace. You can’t accept grace until you humble yourself and see that you haven’t earned anything and that you don’t deserve what you have, but rather, God has given you everything to steward until He returns because it is His, even you are His. So, it is with this perspective that I re-enter the holiday madness, the family hurt, and the spiteful comments, because we ought to love as Christ loved us, but we can’t do that until we are overcome with His grace and love.
As Luke says, it’s all about the condition of your heart. A man speaks and acts out of the overflow of his heart… so this holiday season, join me in taking a meticulous inventory of your actions and words to see what they reveal about the condition, desires, and longings of your heart.
In this holiday and for the duration of our lives, let’s commit ourselves to knowing and loving God, then from the overflow of our refreshed and purified hearts, let’s love without expectations or exceptions, let’s love like Christ by having pure motives and keeping a gospel-centered, grace saturated, Godly perspective.
Your hearts produce your actions.
What are your actions, speech, and thoughts revealing about your heart?
Moleskine Overflow
Consider The Following
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Please remember that not all perspectives and/or ideas can be shown simultaneously and that a major purpose of this space is to initiate conversations, elicit thought, and share reflections. So, let me/us know what you think
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