The following comes from a personal letter I wrote a couple winters ago.
To give you a little background--> 6 months prior to the evening described below I was serving on the hostile streets of South Central Los Angeles and experiencing the heart of Christ. I only spent a month in Los Angeles, but the precicous, challenging, and heart-wrenching moments I spent there radically impacted my thoughts, behaviors, and life. As you're about to see, even though 6 months had passed since my time in LA, I was still having trouble "adjusting" back into our culture. But as a I re-read this two years later, I realize that I'll never "adjust" back into society and revert back to my former assumptions about humanity and ways of viewing our world. Anyway, here's an excerpt from a letter I wrote to a dear friend while wrestling with the tensions caused by my own personal convictions.
This evening I went to a lavish and extravagant caroling party in a luxurious mansion. Platters of delectable food where arranged in each room, free bar with exclusive top-shelf liquors, hired servants, orate decorations. Painted ceilings with gold trim, murals in the bathrooms, the finest china and the most expensive crystal wear. Middle-aged elites floating from room to room with a loaded drink in hand just drifting through life.
How can this be?
How can this be happening while people are starving and freezing to death tonight, in giant cities and small towns all across America? How can they be stuffing their mouths and not see they are starving? How can a barbershop quartette go room to room singing classic hymns celebrating the birth of Jesus and not have their words pass the crest of their recipients' ears?
How can everyone gather in the grand entryway on the master stairwell for a pomp speech promptly followed by CHRISTmas carols... sin and error pining, the earth felt its weight, holy redeemer, righteous, mercy, grace, salvation, King... and not see it, what will it take for their drunken rosy cheeks to turn pale from the reality of the world (then to certainty in their calling by the great commission and commandment)?
That the blood from starving children and homeless people are on our hands? How can we sing about the redemptive power of Christ, about His majesty, our holy reconciliation... how we they sing about and "agree" with Jesus, but not live like Him? It doesn't work that way!!!
I'm disgruntled by "Christians". Christian has come to mean something far different than Christ intended, its not about "strict religious laws" that govern the new reality TV hit about an EXTREME CHRISTIAN family who has 18 kids, or my friend's "uber religious" extended family who beat their children when they misbehave, or the people at this party making petty jabs at one another from their comfortable and crass state of reality.
An EXTREME CHRISTIAN is John Perkins, is Shane Clairborne, is Mother Teresa, is St. Francis Assis, is Paul, is Mike Sylvester.
Even with all our education and access to information we still disregard humanity and withdraw from her cries. Instead of pouring your money into a crystal glass with a gold rim, how about pouring out our life to change another's- how about investing in eternity- how about opening the 66 book love letter and experiencing the most ravishing love ever known? How about taking down the mask and exposing the deeply rooted pain in an atmosphere of acceptance and support so that they can care for themselves, then others? How about being an Extremist for Grace, or even just banishing the false security of ignorance?
God, turn their hearts, put people IN LOVE with You in their lives, expose them to their needs, bless them with someone to radically love them, give them the courage to go deeper, wreck them with your love, overcome their hearts with your joy, draw near to them in the dark seasons, grasp and cleanse their thoughts, make them yours, let Your Will run wild in their lives.
::loaded sigh:: My hands just left the keyboard to meet my face, to hold it while my mind raced with dichotomous thoughts and a longing. After reading what I want God to do in their lives, I see that I want the exact same thing. I don't want to squander this life. I refuse to drink the lukewarm elixirs of this world that seduce me into believing lies until I been lulled to sleep, wholly ineffective and completely lost. When will I realize those things? How many more times will I look to someone/thing to verify my worth? When will I finally be able to live in freedom? Why is this such an arduous process?
These are people, just like me. But more importantly, these people are God's creation.
Initially I was uncertain if I wanted to attend this party bc ever since Urban Project it has been difficult for me to attend events where wealth oozes from every orifice, dangling most noticeably on the ends of attendees sentences, but I decided to go. I knew it would be extravegent and that I would feel uneasy about it, but that I would also try to enjoy the host's hospitality and graciousness in opening his home to his friends and partners.
I prayed -before I left, during conversations, in each room- that God would break forth with striking truth wrapped in the utmost grace and tenderness as He captured their attention. And for myself, that I would love myself in all my imperfections and love His creation well, engaging others with acceptance and gentleness.
Unfortunately for this letter, like most of the things I write to people, was never actually sent. Instead, this excerpt has spent the last few years roaming around my laptop's hard-drive, only to be inadvertently discovered after speaking with another friend about the difficulties of re-entering "society" after a life changing experience. It's a glimpse of my heart during one of its more combative, conflicted, confused times.
Tell us about a situation you've had a difficult time sorting through... What are some things you question about yourself or societal traditions or cultural norms? Can you come up with a good way to celebrate (the bounty we've been blessed with) while also being morally/socially/biblically conscience? Can rejoicing and grieving be fully experienced at the same time... should they be... what does that mean to you? Expose your thoughts
